The Perfect Martini

Ever since my honeymoon to Vancouver, BC back in '98 I had been on a quest to recreate the perfect martini I had there. Unfortunately I don't remember the restaurant name, but it was incredible. It was perfectly chilled, with a silky smooth taste and some very thin, beautiful ice crystals layering the top (a must have if done right). I perfected it sometime ago, but thought I'd put it out there for my one reader to take advantage.

Ingredients:

• Ice (cushed works best, but this technique works with cubed as well)
  
• Premium vodka (I usually use 3-4 oz. Skyy for everyday, Belvedere for special times. Grey Goose, like most things French, including Evian, is soapy-tasting and yucky to me)
• Vermouth (I like Martini & Rossi Extra Dry - needs to be fairly fresh)
• Olives or other garnish (other options include black grapes and blueberries. Blue-cheese-stuffed olives are the best!)

Supplies:

• Worthy martini glass (you decide)
• "Sticker" for garnish
• Metal Shaker with strainer

Directions (no steps may be skipped):

• Before anything, the martini glass goes in the freezer. It should be in there until the very last moment.
• Add ice to the shaker
• "Rinse" ice with cold water and then empty the water from the shaker. This removes any pieces that are chunky enough to seem like "ice in the glass" but that are small enough to fit through any staining apparatus. You really are "rinsing" the ice of unwanted pieces.
  
• Add vodka and vermouth in a rough 6:1 ratio respectively. This is the perfect ratio. Anything more than 10:1 is just vodka. Less than 4:1 is gross - you might as well just drink the vermouth (!).
• Shake/stir the shaker. Lots of debate here - you decide. I prefer shaking because it makes the concoction really cold. It's not done long enough for "bruising" of the vodka (to me, that's just an illusion of the insane anyway). Regardless you need to do it until the shaker is so cold that it's actually too painful to hold (again, shaking is better in making this determination. I shake in a figure-8 pattern).
• Set the shaker down and don't touch it or even look at it for a full 60 seconds.
• Meanwhile, get your garnish on your sticker, and pull the glass from the freezer.
• Put the garnished sticker in your glass.
• Pour the beloved mixture into the glass and let it envelope your garnished sticker (lots of potential double entendre jokes here, but let's keep to the topic at hand - this is a martini, after all).
• And finally the best step of all, enjoy this drink of drinks the way it was meant to be. Then make another.

On a final note regarding vermouth. I will offer my opinion as unadulterated fact: Use dry vermouth. Don't even look at "wet" (or sweet) vermouth.

There are also lots of quips about how folks make "dry" martinis (i.e. more vodka, less vermouth). My favorites, in opposite order of humorousness are:

• Put a capful of vermouth into the glass, roll it around to coat and then dump the excess (this is actually ok)
• Spritz the vermouth into the glass before putting the vodka in (similar to previous)
  
• Pour a capful of vermouth, dump it back into the vermouth bottle and then hold the cap over the martini glass (!)
• And #1, pour a shot of vermouth, drink the shot, and then breathe into the martini glass :)

Despite those entertaining ideas, a martini is not straight vodka. It's vodka and vermouth (an herbed wine). Through trial and error I've determined that 6:1 is the perfect ratio. It can be a "rough" ratio because anything close to that is ok as long as the vermouth is dry, relatively fresh, and a good brand.

ENJOY!