Hahahaha

It was bound to happen and finally has. Heh.

Finally, the Real North Korea

Despite the nuclear arms, despite the beatings, mass murders, and mass starvation, and despite the millions of oppressed citizens living in squalor, I've finally read a bright and happy story (well-timed with yesterday's news) about how jolly North Korea is.

It turns out we were all wrong about Kim Jong Il. According to David Borenstein, apparently the vast majority of North Korea is not either in the military or tragically oppressed. Nope, they're just a little misunderstood and wonder why the rest of the world - especially the good ol' Great Satan - is out to get them. They just need nukes so that they can be taken more seriously, that's all.

To quote the story:

"The people of North Korea believe their country is under siege," says Borenstein, one of the few American citizens granted permission to visit the East Asian nation and certainly one of the few individuals with strong ties to Israel. "They talk about the Korean War [of the 1950s] as if it were yesterday. They think the whole world is out to get them, which is why a large portion of the country's resources are diverted to the military. They feel that if they have nuclear weapons then the rest of the world will listen to them and take them seriously."

He speaks as if the country isn't closed from the outside world and only able to get their hands on what news Kim Jong Il feeds them (you know, instead of actual food). Here's another quote:

"We spoke about [the nuclear weapons issue] with our tour guides," says Borenstein, who gained access to North Korea via personal contacts with the Committee for Cultural Relations with Foreign Countries of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. "The average person is convinced that Bush wants to destroy their country."

C'mon Dave, let's not be silly. How many "average" North Koreans did you meet? How many of your meetings were either staged by Kim and his posse, or at the very least influenced by the fact that if these "average" folks told you anything different they would possibly be tortured and/or killed and that their families would be at greater risk than they were before. (Not to mention that as far as the U.S. is concerned, they were probably telling you the truth because of the "Kim Filter" on any kind of information in the country).

Dave is on his way to Iran now to "get a good deal on a carpet." I'm on my way to the bathroom to throw up.